After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I lost the right to judge tonight
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
