I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
