Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
