Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
