You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
