took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
