honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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