he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
