My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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