Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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