I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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