its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
