sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
