Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
