i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
