Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
