i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
