If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
