I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
