Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
