dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
