please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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