Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
