I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
