He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
