Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
