Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
