i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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