belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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