dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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