just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
