is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
