Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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