I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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