He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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