Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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