UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Your cock deserves a montage
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
