ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
