so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
