i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
