Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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