I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
