my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
worst night to have a conscience
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
