Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
