So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize