It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
