how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
