yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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