No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
