About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
