they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
