Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
